


Nevermind. It can wait.

by Destiels_Wayward_Sandwich



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dean Winchester is Not Heterosexual, Dean Winchester is secretly a cat person, Destiel - Freeform, Domesticity in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), F/M, Fluff, Jack being Jack, M/M, Protective Dean Winchester, Saileen - Freeform, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:07:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25232134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiels_Wayward_Sandwich/pseuds/Destiels_Wayward_Sandwich
Summary: After a movie night in the bunker, Dean almost confesses his feelings to Cas. At the last second he chickens out, and Cas disappears the next day. Team Free Will 2.0 has to find him, and fast.This is a finished work and I post a new chapter every day.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy & Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 19
Kudos: 105





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is set a couple months after Team defeated Chuck. Cas’s contract with The Empty fell through after a very nasty court battle. If someone wants me to write that fic, just leave a comment. Anyway happy reading!

There was a knock on Dean’s door. “Yeah?“ He called. 

Sam poked his head into the room. “Movie night. Be ready in twenty minutes.”

“Who’s picking?”

“Jack”

Dean nodded. The kid usually picked a famous action movie, and there was no way to go wrong with those. 

Sam ducked out, closing the door behind him. Dean got off his bed and decided someone better make some popcorn.

When he got to the kitchen he saw Cas had had the same idea. He was standing in front of the microwave, watching the little bag go around and around. His hair stuck up in the back, making him look like an adorable little hedgehog. 

An adorable hedgehog. Nice analogy, Winchester. Totally normal thing to think about your best friend. Just bros being bros. 

“It still fascinates me.” Cas said. Dean jumped, not realizing Cas had noticed him. 

“What?”

“The little kernels,” Cas explained, not looking away from the microwave. “They all remain unpopped for so long, and yet the moment one pops, they all join in.”

Dean loved when he marveled at small things like that. Even from behind he knew that Cas’s eyebrows were wrinkled and the edges of his mouth pulled downwards. His pondering face was adorable. “Sometimes it’s hard being first. The others don’t want to do anything until someone else has. Once one makes the first move, bam. Popcorn.”

“Perhaps.”

They stood in silence for a few moments. Silence was a thing you had to get used to with Cas. He wasn’t one for small talk. Finally, Dean said, “Well, I came to make popcorn, but I see you beat me to it. See you in The Room.” 

The Room. You couldn’t say it without the implied capital letters. There were many rooms in the bunker, but only one Room. Dean had created it in his spare time without anyone noticing, and finally had shown Sam once they had gotten a TV. After an unfortunate-or incredible, it depended on who you asked- situation with a ghost and a certain cartoon dog and his mystery solving gang, they had to destroy the TV. For Dean’s birthday, his family had bought him a new one and a couch to replace the two recliners, now that the family had grown. Ever since, they had been having movie nights at least once a month. 

Dean was thinking about all this as he walked into The Room, not really paying attention to what he was doing. He ended up walking into the cat, who yelped. 

Dean instantly knelt beside him. “Shit. Sorry, Gremlin. Didn’t see you there, buddy.”

“Cas doesn’t like when you call him that.”

Dean jumped up to see Jack peering at him over the couch. “That’s what he is. Dumb, blind gremlin made me trip.” He made a mental note to apologize to the cat later. 

Jack sighed. “It isn’t his fault he’s blind.” As Dean walked over he scooted onto the arm of the couch. For some reason, the kid loved perching in weird places. Dean sat next to him. The gremlin curled up at Dean’s feet, and he rubbed its skinny back with a socked foot, grateful he had taken his allergy medicine. 

Eileen and Sam entered together, and Cas was shortly behind them. It was a tight squeeze to fit everyone. It was easier with Jack perched on the arm of the chair like he was, but Dean still ended up squished into the arm of the couch, and Cas on his other side. Not that he minded. Any chance to be squished into Cas was a good time for Dean. 

They were watching Raiders of the Lost Ark. Again. They all loved it though, so no one minded. Popcorn was passed, bathroom breaks were taken, iconic lines were said alongside the characters. Standard movie stuff. Dean couldn’t quite focus though, because his entire left side was pressed up against Cas. He glanced at the angel. His blue eyes could barely stay open. He’d needed more sleep lately, due to his fading grace. Dean realized he was staring, but Cas certainly didn’t notice. He was snoring lightly, and his head dipped to the side so it rested on Dean’s shoulder. 

Cas’s head was on his shoulder. 

It was a small thing. Really not that strange considering how great Cas was with personal space, not to mention the fact that he didn’t even mean to do it. But it sent shivers through Dean’s very soul. He didn’t move a muscle, afraid that the slightest of movements would make Cas’s head leave his shoulder. 

As it turned out, Sam was the one who did it. The big oaf had shifted to lay his head on Eileen’s lap, stretching out his legs over Cas and Dean’s. Dean wouldn’t have minded. It was a usual occurrence with the moose he called his brother. But it woke Cas up. He startled and moved his head. Dean was pissed, but his heart wasn’t pumping like he had just run a marathon anymore, so that was a plus. 

The movie ended all too soon. They sat watching the credits, pointing out the funnier names, until the screen went black. “I’m going to grab a beer.” Dean said. “Anyone else?”

“Dean it’s midnight.” Sam protested. 

“Yeah. And?”

“And not everyone sleeps until noon every day.”

“You’re the only one who doesn’t.” Dean retorted, “Cas and Jack don’t really count, and your girlfriend gets up later than I do.”

Eileen shrugged. “He has a point.”

Sam shook his head, smiling. “Well, I have healthy sleeping habits. I’m the most likely to live past forty five. Night, guys.”

A chorus of “goodnights” followed him as he left the room. 

“Jack and I will go grab some beers. You two clean up here and meet us out there.” Eileen said, shooting Dean a pointed look that he pretended not to see. He had never told her that he liked Cas, but it always seemed like she could see everything. 

“Yeah, alright.” Dean replied. 

And then there were two. 

Cas was humming softly as he picked up popcorn kernels that had somehow gotten behind the couch. A faint smile graced his lips. Dean was supposed to be helping, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from his angel. He wondered when he had started thinking of Cas that way. His angel. Probably around when he realized he was in love with him. 

There wasn’t an exact moment where everything clicked. It was a slow buildup of emotions that literally took Dean almost a decade to notice. Once he did though, it was all over. He had a sneaking feeling that Cas liked him back, but there was no way to find out. 

Well. There was one. 

His mouth opened and the words were out before he had a chance to stop them. “Hey Cas?” His throat was dry. Was he really doing this? After all this time, now?

“Yes, Dean?” Cas turned to look at him, and Dean found himself paralyzed. A deer in piercing blue headlights. 

“Never mind.” he said. “It can wait.”

…

Cas sat at the table in the bunker’s main room with the other three hunters. They had been there for almost an hour. The conversation had dissolved into a quiet buzz.

“Cas back me up here.” He heard Dean say. 

Cas had a habit of forgetting to listen to the words being said, instead focusing on the voices talking. Especially when Dean was involved. His voice was low and loud when he drank. It took on a slight rasp when he was tired that Cas could listen to forever. He had no idea what they were bickering about this time, but decided to try anyway. “Yes. Dean is absolutely right.”

“That doesn’t count. He wasn’t paying any attention.” Eileen protested.

“Doesn’t matter. He’s smart enough to know I’m always right. Right Cas?”

Cas didn’t know how to answer that without picking a side. He looked to Jack for support, but Jack just shrugged. “Maybe if you tell me what the topic is, I’ll tell you who’s correct.”

“Is it possible to outrun the boulder? Yes, right?” Dean said. 

“The boulder?”

“Cas. The most iconic scene in the movie we just watched. The boulder! Do you think a person could outrun it?”

“They could run around it.” Cas said, confused. 

Both Dean and Eileen groaned. “We know.” Eileen said. “That wasn’t what we were fighting about though.”

Cas pondered for a moment, then finally said “if it was a short distance, not allowing the boulder to gain momentum, and the person in question was adequately in shape, then yes.”

Eileen pouted and Dean grinned. Poor Jack was looking at everyone like it was a three way ping pong tournament. 

“Well,” Dean said, standing up. “Now that I have been proven right, I am going to bed.”

“I should too.” Eileen put her empty beer bottle in the trash can. 

Dean looked down at his, then tried to shoot it into the trash can like it was a basketball. Somehow it didn’t shatter, but it did miss the trash can by quite a bit. “Not a word,” he grumbled at the three smirking faces. Cas loved when Dean got flustered. Once he had gotten his rebound, so to speak, the two humans went their separate ways. Cas fiddled with one of the colored rings on the table. He had never understood what they were for, but they were entertaining.

“Cas?”

Cas looked up. Jack was looking at him, head cocked to the side. “Yes Jack?”

“Why don’t we watch more movies with two men falling in love? It seems like they are all just a man and a woman.”

Well that was a curveball. “Why do you ask?”

“I figured you and Dean would like it.”

If his last statement had been a curveball, Cas thought, then this was the equivalent of the pitcher throwing the ball towards the outfield. “What do you… What?” He stuttered. 

Jack seemed perplexed at Cas’s perplexion. “You two love each other, and I thought you would want to see more people like you. Was I wrong?”

Cas sighed. “Jack. Dean and I aren’t together.” The words hurt to say, more than he thought they would. 

“But you love him.”

“Of course I do. Just... not like that.”

“Oh. Okay.” Jack nodded, but Cas could still see confusion in his eyes. He was too tired to explain further, so tried to take the attention off of whatever was between him and Dean. “If you want, we can watch more movies with partners of the same sex.”

“Okay.” He said again. He got up and gave Cas a quick hug, which Cas happily returned. The Winchester’s weren’t exactly the biggest fans of PDA, but Cas was a different story. Jack released him and then retreated to his room. 

Cas was by himself. He didn’t feel all alone, however. Most of that was because his family was just a few rooms away.

Part of it, though, might’ve been because someone else was in the room with him. 

Cas heard a squeak on the floor and turned, expecting to see Dean looking for another beer, or Sam grabbing the computer he had left on the table. 

Instead, he saw someone else. 

He caught a flash of long dark hair, and eyes blacker than night. He reached for his angel blade, but found it missing. He must’ve left it in his room. Before he could do anything else, the demon slammed its gun into his forehead, and Cas fell to the floor, groaning. The demon turned around to make sure it hadn’t been seen, and Cas did his best to inconspicuously slide his phone from his pocket. He tried to send a hasty message to Dean, but the demon turned again and saw him. It stomped on the phone, and Cas’s fingers as well, and then kicked him in the head. Cas went silent


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TFW 2.0 realizes Cas is gone and tries to find him

“Have you seen Cas?” Jack asked. 

Dean shook his head. “Why, what’s up?”

“It’s just… he never sleeps this late, and he told me I could go for a drive with him this morning.”

Dean internally agreed that both of these points made sense, but he also didn’t have any internal coffee yet. “I’ve been up for like, twenty minutes. Why would I have seen him?” There wasn’t any real malice in his words, only petulant grumpiness. 

Jack seemed to understand that. “Because… never mind.”

Dean was too tired to press any further.

The coffee maker made a soft click, and Dean grabbed his mug. Well, the mug. It was actually one of Cas’s, white with the words ‘Crazy Cat Lady’ in comic sans. But Dean had bought it for him, so he figured he wouldn’t mind. 

Once he had finished his first cup, Dean felt much better. That is, until he processed what Jack had said. Dean hunted around the room for his phone, trying to check the time. He found it on the kitchen table, having left it there last night. 

The time read 10:12. Dean was about to put the phone down when he realized he had a notification. 

It was a text from Cas. That was odd. Cas hated texting because he could barely understand voiced social cues, nevermind written ones. Dean had offered to help him with that, but Cas declined, saying he enjoyed hearing Dean’s voice anyway. Dean had worn a stupid smile for the next three days. 

The message simply read ‘H’. Instantly, Dean was on high alert. He had gotten many a text just like that from Sam whenever he got kidnapped, but didn’t have time to finish the word. 

Help. 

Dean tried to stay calm, but things weren’t looking good. A part of his brain murmured it could’ve been an accidental message, but Dean squashed it immediately. 

When was it ever an accident for them?

Dean almost ran to Cas’s room. He stopped to knock-though he knew by this point no one would answer—and shoved the door open. 

Nothing. Cas had not gone back to his room last night. 

Dean ran a hand down his face, staring heavenwards. Then he pulled out his phone and called Sam. 

“Yeah?” The answer was breathless, so Dean assumed he was out running. 

“I think Cas is in trouble.”

“What kind of trouble?”

“The kind where I can’t find him and I think he tried to text me the word ‘help’, but he didn’t have time to finish the word.” Dean snapped back. 

“Did he…” Sam trailed off then started again. “Y'know. Did he run off again?”

“No.” Dean insisted. “I made him swear not to do that anymore. He didn’t want to but I told him any time any of us run off by ourselves, bad things happen. Like when I tried to throw myself into the ocean. That seemed to make him understand.” He was rambling. He took a deep breath, then continued softly. “No. He didn’t run off.”

“Okay. I’m on my way back. And Dean?” 

“What?”

“We will find him. But the same rule applies to you, okay? No running off.”

“Okay,” Dean said, and Sam hung up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shorter chapter today, but don’t worry, more is coming!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No sign of Cas yet, and Dean is NOT happy about it

It had been three days. 

Three days since any of them had heard from Cas. They had called everyone they could think of, but no one had heard a thing. Jody and Donna had put out missing person reports, and Claire and Kaia were manning the traffic cams. Rowena was doing what she could from hell. 

Sam, at the moment, was drinking a smoothie. He had been checking headlines for demonic activity for the past six hours straight. There wasn’t even the slightest abnormality in the weather. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and walked into the control room, where Dean was glaring at his phone. He didn’t even look up when Sam came in, and jumped when Sam put the beer on the table in front of him. That at least made him look up. He grunted a thank you, and returned to his phone.

Sam sighed. Dean had been stressed since Cas went missing, and it got worse by the minute. He seemed to be past snapping at everyone who breathed too loudly, but now he has completely shut down. “Dean,” he said. 

“Yup.”

“When’s the last time you slept?” 

“I’m fine.”

“Dean-“

“He’s been gone for three days, Sam. Every second he’s gone it’s more likely that he’s… and you want me to sleep?” 

Sam opened his mouth to continue arguing, but his phone rang. It was Rowena. He hastily answered. 

“Sam. Are you both there?”

Sam put her on speaker. “Yeah Rowena. Both here. What’s up?”

I think I’ve found your missing angel.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rowena helps the gang come up with a plan to save their Cas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again my fellow yees and haws. Just wanted to say there are a few spoilers from the first half of season 15. Happy reading!!

The bunker door opened with a loud groan, alerting everyone inside with functioning ears that Rowena had arrived. She had said she didn’t want to risk giving the information over the phone. Sure enough, there she stood.

If anything, becoming the queen of hell had made Rowena even more pretentious. Her dress was an angry black that made her look even paler. Her fiery hair hung loose, tendrils reaching almost to her waist. Her lips were pursed like she had smelled something rotten the moment she had walked in. 

Sam had missed the bastard. 

“Hello, boys.” She called, and her smile grew wide. “And girl. I assume this is Eileen? Lovely to finally meet you in person, dearie. Sam goes on and on about you, you know. He’s positively smitten with you!”

Sam coughed, pointedly not turning around because he could feel Eileen's teasing smile digging into the back of his head. “Hey, Rowena.”

She glided down the stairs, high heels clacking, and gave Sam a hug. He held on tight, remembering a very different hug they had shared. The kind where he pushed a knife into her stomach. He thought she was gone for good, and yet here she was. 

“So what did you know?”

Rowena lowered her arms gracefully, and Sam turned to see his brother leaning against the table, arms crossed. 

“Well,” Rowena answered, “as you know, I’ve shaken things up a bit downstairs. Demons are minor nuisances now that my rules are in place. Most of them love the change. But some aren’t as excited. I have word that one of these rogues is in New Hampshire, and she has something big. I figured that must be your angel.”

Jack stood up. “Well let’s go then. We have to save him.”

“I’ll help, if I can. I’m not letting you lose one of your fathers, Jack.” Rowena gazed at him with a naked kindness she didn’t usually show. Jack had a habit of bringing out that side of people. “But you have to prepare first. I don’t know how many rogues are there.”

Sam knew Dean was about to start his ‘every second wasted is less of a chance we find Cas alive’ speech again, and honestly, Sam agreed this time. They knew where to go, had at least a grasp on what to do. “We can’t wait any longer. Our friend is in danger.”

  
  


…

  
  


And so it was decided. Rowena would stay behind in case they needed someone to check the lore. Dean would drive up by himself (because he adamantly refused to have anyone else in the car with him right then), and Eileen, Jack, and Sam would all go together. 

Sam was loading his car when Rowena walked up behind him. “I was trying to help your brother, because he was packing by himself, but he  _ shouted _ at me to come help you instead, so here I am.”

Sam sighed. “Don’t take it personally. Dean’s taking this harder than anyone.”

“He really loves that boy, doesn’t he.” It wasn’t a question. 

Sam debated on how to answer that. Since Dean had never  _ told _ him he liked Cas, even though he clearly did, he technically wouldn’t be spilling any secrets if he agreed with Rowena. “He does. We’ve had it so good recently, and now… this is hard on all of us, but yeah. He really does.”

“You’ll find him.”

Sam shut the trunk with a sigh. “I hope so.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get angstyyyyy. But don’t worry pals it’ll get better. Also I love Jack so much.

It was the middle of the night. Eileen had driven for almost eight hours before giving Sam the job. The moment the car was moving again, she was asleep. Jack was in the backseat, being so quiet that Sam turned to see if he was out too. But no. His wide-awake face held an expression of deep concentration. 

The monotony of the dark road was starting to get to Sam, so he decided to ask Jack why he looked so focused. “What are you thinking about?”

“How many fathers can one person have?”

Sam glanced back at him, confused. “Why do you ask?”

“Rowena said she wouldn’t let me lose one of my fathers. It got me thinking. How many fathers do most people have?”

“Well that’s kind of a loaded question. But the majority of people have one father and one mother. Some people have two fathers, or two mothers. Not to mention stepfathers and surrogate fathers. It really depends.”

“So I can say I have two fathers? Cas and Dean? Well three, but I’d prefer not to count Lucifer.”

“Why not me?” Sam asked, only half joking. 

“Many parents love each other romantically. I asked Cas if he loved Dean, and he said yes, but not ’like that’. I’m not sure what ‘like that’ would be though, because they do love each other romantically. Or at least, they  _ really _ look like they do. But you love them like you’re related to them, so it’s not quite the same. You’re like… my uncle.”

It took Sam a second to process everything Jack had said. In his head he cheered because Jack had figured it out. But he couldn’t confirm anything he had said. A few months ago, Cas had confessed to him that he liked Dean, but wouldn’t let him interfere in any way. Sam decided to focus on the second part of what Jack had said. “An uncle. I like that.”

  
  


…

  
  


After another ten hours, Dean got a call from Sam, telling him they should stop to rest for a few hours. Dean refused at first, but he knew Sam was right. 

Even still, he couldn’t stop the words running through his head. 

_ Never mind. It can wait.  _

He mentally shook himself, and pulled onto the exit. They were going to crash at a motel for a few hours, and Sam had offered to take Jack and give him some alone time. Dean hated when his brother acted like he was about to shatter, but he had to admit, if only to himself, that solitude would be the best idea. The last thing he wanted was to snap at Jack for no reason, especially now that they had been getting along so well. 

Dean pulled into the parking lot of the motel they were going to stay in. He didn’t see Sam’s car, but Dean had left first so he wasn’t worried. He asked for a room with one bed, texted Sam his room number, and collapsed onto the bed.

He could feel the wall between his head and emotions beginning to crack. Since Cas had been gone, Dean hadn’t actually had any time alone. He loved his family, but right now he could  _ really _ do without the tag team checkups. Even when he was out driving, they would call him to make sure he hadn’t driven off a bridge or something. 

But now that no one was around, Dean couldn’t stop his mind from sending those five words ricocheting through him, over and over again.  _ Never mind. It can wait. Never mind. It can wait. Never mind. It can wait.  _

Would that be the last thing he ever said to Cas? Cas, his  _ best friend  _ who he’d been in love with for years? Cas, who had raised him from perdition? Cas, who had given everything he ever had and more for humanity? Cas, who through every single awful thing they had faced, only wanted to help people?

There was a knock on the door. “Dean?” Sam said. “It’s me.”

Dean swiped at his filling eyes before getting up and letting his brother in. Apparently, he didn’t do as good a job as he had thought, because Sam gave him his patented ‘let’s talk about feelings’ face. “I’m fine, Sam.”

“No you're not. Look, I know you hate doing it but talking-”

“ _ Talking  _ isn’t going to save Cas!” There was so much venom in Dean’s voice that Sam visibly flinched. 

_ Great. Hurting your family again. Way to go, Winchester.  _

“Dean. Would you cut the  _ crap _ ?” The underlying note of sympathy was noticeably absent from Sam’s voice. 

Dean did a double take, and Sam rushed on. “Look. I know you’re stressed. But if you would stop thinking about yourself for  _ one second,  _ you would realize that we love Cas too. We’re trying to help him too. We’ve all been doing everything we can to try and find him, just like you are. So can you cut us some slack?”

Dean stepped away from the door, leaving Sam to close it, and wearily sat back down in the bed. “Never mind. It can wait.” He whispered. 

“What?” Sam asked, sitting on the bed next to him. 

“I was going to tell him the truth. That I love him-” Dean should’ve been horrified at his biggest secret leaving his lips so freely, but all he felt was tired. Sam was nodding like this wasn’t news. “But then I got scared. The last thing I said to him was ‘never mind. It can wait.’”

“Dean, it’s only been three days. We will find-”

“But what if we  _ don’t?  _ What if he’s  _ gone  _ and… and…” Dean put his face in his hands, trying to hide from the world. The world he had been just starting to believe in again. He felt the bed move next to him, but didn’t look up when Sam put his arm around his shoulder, offering what little comfort he could.

They sat like that for an immeasurable length of time, and eventually, Dean drifted into a restless sleep. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost to the end! I don’t want to spoil so I’m not going to really give y’alls a summary

He woke with a start, taking a moment to get his bearings. Sam must’ve left during the night, because he wasn’t there anymore. Dean squinted at his phone. The clock read 4:13. He’d only gotten about an hour of sleep. He tried to roll over and fall back asleep, but the knowledge, or lack thereof, about Cas kept him awake. Finally, he decided he couldn’t sit still any longer. He left a note for Sam-a text would’ve woken him up-and tiptoed out the door. 

The location Rowena had given them was only six hours away. Dean could do it in five. 

  
  


…

  
  


Sam has a sinking feeling in his barely awake stomach. Jack hadn’t slept, but he and Eileen had been out for almost three hours. Dean had fallen asleep earlier than him, and Sam doubted he was still asleep. 

Sure enough, when Sam looked into his room, there was Dean’s bag, but no Dean. Only a little note saying

_ I'm fine. Just getting a head start.  _

“I  _ said  _ no running off,” Sam muttered, hurrying back to tell the others they had to go. 

  
  


…

  
  


Dean pulled into an empty parking lot, grabbed his bag from the trunk, and headed to the abandoned warehouse. The tiny part of his brain that wasn’t focused on finding Cas wondered why the bad guys never used less suspicious places to hide in. 

He stood before the door, trepidation overflowing inside of him. For a brief moment, Dean  _ really  _ did not want to go in, terrified of seeing something he didn’t want to. 

But when did he ever get to make that choice? Dean shook his head, gripped his knife, and opened the door. 

The room was wide and empty, save for a shape in the middle. Dean’s footsteps echoed as he ran to the shape, not even bothering to look for danger. The morning light filtering through the high-up windows illuminated the man hanging by his wrists. It was caked in blood and ripped almost to shreds, but Dean would recognize that trenchcoat anywhere. 

“Cas!”

There was no answer. 

Dean cut the ropes, and a limp Cas collapsed into his arms. He laid him on the floor, checking his pulse. 

Nothing. 

_ No.  _

_ He can’t be dead he can’t be dead he can’t be. _

“ _ C’mon _ Cas _.  _ I need you, man.”

Dean forced himself to hold his own breath, still his shaking hand, concentrate harder. 

And there it was. Worryingly faint, but there. Cas was breathing. 

Cas was  _ alive.  _

“Guess you found me. Pity your angel didn’t bleed out before you got here.”

Dean whirled around, only to get punched directly in the face. He managed to twist around so he wouldn’t land on Cas, but that made him land hard in his wrist. It made a vile  _ pop  _ and pain flooded through it. 

He jumped to his feet, wincing. Before him stood a raven haired demon, smirking. “The great Dean Winchester. I expected more.” She flicked her arm and threw him against the wall. 

Dean groaned and tried to stand up, but the demon was already on top of him, choking him, holding him down. He could feel his struggles getting weaker, his breaths getting shorter…

“Your angel here is very brave. But I broke him. He was  _ begging  _ to die by the time I finished with him.”

A cold fury surged into Dean’s bones, and he brought his knee up as hard as he could into the demon’s groin. She rolled off of him. He scrambled to his knife and threw it, as hard as he could, directly at her. 

It’s sunk into her chest like butter. She flickered like a candle and then went out.

Dean had never been so happy to see someone dead. 

He ran over to his angel, and realized he couldn’t do much to help him. In his hurry, he had left his first aid stuff at the hotel. He took off his flannel and undershirt, did his best to stop Cas’s bleeding, and picked him up like a baby. 

Laying him gently on Baby’s backseat, he went to the front seat and started the car. A bolt of pain shot through his wrist as he turned the wheel, but he barely noticed. 

Dean’s phone began to vibrate. Keeping one eye on the road, he saw he had five missed calls from Sam, and two from Jack. Jack was the one calling him now. 

Dean picked up. 

“Where are-”

“I have Cas. He’s alive.”

There was a heartbeat of silence, then Jack croaked out a small “he is?”

“Barely. I don’t have anything on me, so I’m bringing him back to the motel.”

Another pause. “Sam says to take him to the hospital.”

“No. He’s still partly angelic. They would be suspicious.”

“Well then  _ hurry.” _

“I'm on my way,” Dean promised. 

  
  


…

  
  


The ride was a blur, but not because it passed quickly. No, it felt like one unending moment of terror and anxiety. When he got to the parking lot, Sam, Jack, and Eileen were waiting. They all offered to help carry Cas, who wasn’t looking any better off, but Dean snarled that he could do it himself. 

He laid his best friend down onto his bed as delicately as possible, and tried to assess him for injuries. Jack did the same. Cas had lost a  _ lot  _ of blood. His clothes were almost sticking to him. Dean grimaced as he stripped the trenchcoat off with his knife. Cas wasn’t going to love that. Jack tried to heal what he could, but with his weakened grace, it wasn’t much. 

Even with all his wounds cleaned and covered, Cas still looked terrible. He was deathly pale, and his eyes hadn’t opened yet. It had been almost an hour since Dean had rushed him in. His whole family was keeping him company, but it only made Dean feel suffocated. 

He wanted,  _ needed  _ to go get some air, but what if Cas woke up and he wasn’t there?

_ If Cas wakes up.  _

_ Stop that.  _

The floorboard creaked as Dean shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sam staring at him. He knew if he made eye contact, he wouldn’t be able to hold in whichever emotion was trying to crawl out of him. He kept his eyes firmly forward. 

“Let’s give Dean some space.” It wasn’t supposed to be heard by him, but he heard it nonetheless. Dean had never been more grateful for his brother. 

They made some feeble excuses that Dean barely registered, and they all slipped out of the room. 

Dean let out his breath slowly, but it turned into a choked sob. He perched on the edge of the bed and stared at his angel. He looked so small and broken. A tear slipped down Dean’s face. 

“Cas.” His voice came out as a hoarse whisper. He tried again. “Cas. Cas you have to wake up, man. I need to tell you something. A lot of things, actually.” He half laughed. “Look. I couldn’t find you for so long. If Rowena hadn’t come through when she did… Cas I need you to wake up. Please.” He stared down at Cas, trying to somehow heal him telepathically. 

He didn’t stir.

Dean swiped a hand over his filling eyes. “Cas. I don’t know if you can hear me, but you can’t die. Not today. Not like this. I need you here. I never got to say-”

A small groan escaped Cas’s lips, and his head turned ever so slightly towards where Dean was sitting. 

“Cas?”

Cas’s eyes cracked open. And then, as if every syllable was a struggle, he choked out a “Hello, Dean.”

Dean’s face cracked into a grin so wide it hurt. He tried to think of what to say, but all that came out was a soft “ _ Cas _ .”

Cas smiled a weak little smile of reassurance. He had been tortured for days, but the moment he woke up he smiled to show Dean he was alright. Dean stared at his chapped lips for a few seconds too many, but Cas seemed too out of it to notice. “How are you feeling?” He asked.

“Fine.”

Dean rolled his eyes, and Cas’s smile got infinitesimally wider. “It hurts. But fine. Tired.”

Dean stood up. “You should get some rest. You’ve had a long few days, but you’re safe now.”

Cas’s eyes widened, and his hand stretched out to Dean. “Stay.”

“Cas, I’m not going anywhere. I just-”

“Stay  _ here.” _

Dean smiled, and laid down next to his angel, careful not to be too close. As much as he wanted to melt into him, he knew it wasn’t the best idea. 

Cas didn’t have that problem. He nestled closer the best he could, with his injuries. Dean closed the gap and draped his arm around him, letting the injured one hang off the bed. He’d deal with that in the morning. Right now, he had more pressing issues. 

“Thank you,” Cas rasped into the crook of Dean’s neck. 

“For what?”

“Finding me.”   
  


There were sod  _ so  _ many words trying to escape his mouth. But he just pressed his lips to the top of Cas’s head and mumbled “Always.”

Despite the thoughts running through Dean’s head at three thousand miles per hour, he slept better that night than he had in years. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even more fluff

Cas’s sleep was hazy, pockmarked with half lucid dreams and confusion. So when he woke up sharing a bed with the one and only Dean Winchester, he thought nothing of it. Just another dream. Not even a new one. He was almost on top of him. His legs were wrapped tightly around Dean’s waist, and his head was on Dean’s bare chest. One of Dean’s arms was thrown lazily over his back, and the other was tangled in his hair. 

But in the dreams, Dean’s breath was never this bad. And Cas didn’t feel like every nerve was on fire. 

He let out a small groan of pain, and Dean’s eyes fluttered open. Dean seemed surprised to see Cas’s face an inch away from his own, but he didn’t move away. “You alright?”

“I’m fine. What happened yesterday? I don’t know which memories are real and which are dreams.” There were a few parts he desperately hoped weren’t dreams, but he decided to keep that to himself. 

Dean grunted and moved his arm so it was hanging off the bed. The other stayed firmly in his hair, Cas noticed with delight. His words came out haltingly. “I found you, then I killed the bitch. Then I brought you here. You told me to stay so… I stayed.”

And  _ that  _ was the moment Castiel realized that this wasn’t, in fact, a dream. Sure, it hadn’t been going how the dream usually went, but even after he figured that out, Cas didn’t think any of this was actually  _ happening.  _ He didn’t think he was in a bed,  _ clearly _ made for one person, with  _ Dean.  _ He dropped his eyes, face warming. 

But there was one more thing Cas remembered. It felt like it had really happened, but he couldn’t be sure. 

Well. There was one way to be sure. 

“Dean.”

“Yeah, Cas?”

“I had this dream… and you kissed me.”

Cas felt Dean’s whole body go still. He took a deep breath, then softly said “why do you think it was a dream?”

With growing anticipation, Cas answered “because it’s a dream I have often.” That was when he looked back into Dean’s soft green eyes. They were staring back at him with an emotion Cas had never seen on his face. 

“You dream about me?”

“All the time.”

“Cas… that wasn’t a dream. 

Cas closed his eyes, trying to cement this moment in his mind forever. Then he opened them, gazing at Dean’s lips. He inched ever so slightly forward.

Dean closed the gap. It was a soft, aching hello that was everything Cas had dreamed it would be and more. Oh, so much more. He smiled against Dean’s mouth, and pulled away slowly, keeping their foreheads together. 

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that.” Dean laughed. Then his face became serious. “Cas, I thought you were gone. I thought I’d never get to… I love you.”

“I love you too, Dean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou all so much for reading!! I live for your kudos and comments. Tell me what your favorite part was!


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